[There is a part of Rufous that wants nothing else then to be seen. Acknowledged. Validated. He wanted to know his existence was worth something. An inherent need to justify it.]

[That part fueled everything else. The need to be perfect, the need to not be weak, the need to defend himself at all costs because he can't trust others to. Safety did not exist.]

[Safety did not exist.]

[And it was so tiring.]

I revived you. [It's said softly. Because he had proven his worth, he could allow himself to believe he warranted a little kindness.]

[His cheek rests against his shoulder.] I hate being cruel. But this place is too strange. Sometimes people are too kind to believe. And others will talk of kindness, but then act with cruelty. I don't know....

I don't know any of it. How to follow and understand and when I'm wrong it's more cruelty when I just...I just want to do it right.