thisismagrave | Monster Bingo 3.0

I'm not worried about physical contact. [Beyond his instinctive belief most of it is to hurt him, but. He's pretty sure most of this isn't that????] They're just...new. Things I have to learn.

I'm sure there's someone who'd be up to a spare. I'm perfectly capable in a fight. [When the fight isn't decided by RNG anyway....]

I'm. Learning things. But I've heard these words before being related to games, so they're going to come up. And they're needed for this game. So. I'm going to do them, and then figure out my opinions after the game when I have an actual sample to form an opinion on.

Okay.

[ at first, that's all there is. passive acknowledgement as Okitsu processes information that cuts him closely: the lack of understanding for fundamental things like affectionate actions. he, himself is no expert either. they're concepts for other people, people he couldn't reach.

until he'd managed to reach someone with love at least once. because he'd known it, even if he hadn't recognized it. ]

Then, how about this. Come sit with me. We'll cuddle for ten minutes. And while we do that, we'll talk about these other ones, so when you go out there, you're going out there prepared. We can even try to practice a few.

[ he parks himself down on the ground and extends an arm, inviting but not pushing. come cuddle when you're ready. he's patient. ]

Okay?

[The Boiling Isles isn't the biggest on normal physical affection. Even those from loving families can still be surprised by human gestures of affection like hugs.]

[And that's without the isolation.]

[There is an air of uncertainty, because there always is when he admits he doesn't know something. He expects....worse reactions. He expects demeaning comments and disappointment. He expects hostility.]

[Understanding is still. New. Different.]

[It helps, knowing he did something of worth for Okitsu. To not wonder if there's a trap. Its enough to calm the anxiety and he moves over to sit with him.]

Okay.

[ closing the distance, Okitsu leans his head over to rest on Rufous's. he won't rest too heavily, mindful of his new cuddle-partner's reactions and vigilant enough to pull back if he needs to. ]

I'm a little colder than I would be without all this— [ with one hand, he gestures vaguely at the small will o wisps and one of his own wings. ] —all this extra stuff. Let me know if it's too much, we can do something else.

[ otherwise though, he'll be resting an arm over Rufous's shoulder too in a loose side hug. all the while, he keeps his breathing slow, relaxed.

in and out. in and out. just like they'd talked about when it was Okitsu who had been confused and frightened. ]

[There is definitely a lot of tension, fighting the urge to flinch with someone getting so close, but its fine, its fine, its fine. He revived Okitsu, there is no reason for him to try and hurt him.]

What do you mean colder?

[The tension stays for a minute, but it sloooowly starts to melt away with continued contact. He won't be hurt. Its like with Felicity. Just sitting there huddled together.]

[Its. Kind of nice, actually.]

[ he takes no offense to the tension; he couldn't say he'd be any different if their positions were reversed. taking care to keep still, Okitsu doesn't move to pull Rufous in closer to adjust himself until they've both had more time to settle. ]

I mean I've been dead a while, and I don't remember feeling like I was freezing. My skin is probably pretty cold to touch. Sorry about that.

[ a regular, run-of-the-mill dead Okitsu cuddle might be nicer than the monster bingo version, but this is what he has to offer currently. ]

I see you've got grooming on here, too. For your feathers.

Oh. I guess you kind of are. [When you're not used to touching anyone though...] Its fine.

Ah...yeah. Do you know how to groom feathers?

Mm, not especially, but it can't be too different from grooming hair or fur. You're just kind of tidying up, making them look nice in a way that's affectionate.

Or, that's how I'm reading it.

[ gently, he brushes his fingers along some of those material feathers, all of his motions slow and careful. ]

And if you're not up for experimenting, kissing them would be easy.

Hmmm, kind of is and isn't. Have to be careful to keep them aligned, so don't want to tug too hard.

[Affectionate though.]

[He's definitely blushing.]

But I...wouldn't mind. [He revived him. Its Fine. This is Fine. Like now. The cuddling is nice and nothing bad has happened.]

[He's okay.]

And...yeah...yeah, need the kissing thing.

Alright. I got it.

[ he gently taps his hand to Rufous's shoulder, only encircling him into a closed hug for that brief second. ]

If there's something you're not into, you say no, it stops. And that's the way it should always be. Okay?

I'm just going to kiss some of your feathers, then I'll groom whatever I end up ruffling. Good plan?

[He nods.] If I want to stop, I'll tell you. [Its new and weird, but it hasn't been BAD so far and its for the game.]

Yeah. Yeah, sounds good.

Alright. It's a promise, then.

[ taking a small handful of feathers gently into his hand, he strokes over some of the longer ones with his thumb. barring any negative reaction, he leans over, peppering gentle, quick kisses along a few of them, making sure to trail down each one to keep the ruffling to a minimum.

it isn't a completely foolproof method because he is moving along them, but it hopefully prevents the worst of the tugging. ]

[He breathes in sharply at the touch, a shiver going through his frame at the kisses.]

[Even if there's tugging, its hard to distract from the fuzzy tingling that the action cause, his face going red.]

If...if there are loose feathers, you can...can pull those out. Shouldn't be m-much resistance.

Edited 2021-11-04 07:19 (UTC)

Sure, if you're okay with that.

[ keeping his hand in place as a support for the feather's he's trailing kisses along, he reaches over with his free hand, gently combing over other feathers to feel for loose ones. when he finds one, then two, he times the gentle tug to them with a kiss, hopefully to act as a distractor if there's any pain.

his aim is not to cause pain if he can at all avoid it, and to pair it with something pleasant in the event that he cannot. ]

Need to do arts and crafts. And tickle someone. Just m-makes sense.

[Every kiss gets a shiver out of him, ducking his head at the tingling feelings. Its gentle, its nice, it feels good-]

[It feels kind.]

[And that is....unfamiliar in a way that's almost painful.]

[His breathing is getting heavy and he fights the urge to lean in closer while he's working on his wings.]

Edited 2021-11-04 07:39 (UTC)

Those are pretty straightforward... If I were you, I'd hold onto some of these feathers. I've got flowers in my hair, I bet there's a craft in there somewhere between the two of these things.

[ Okitsu: dead teen, might have a career in found objects arts and crafts. he picks off another feather, then another, each with another kiss as he settles in closer. after he pulls free this round of feathers, he again strokes through the feathers to smooth them back out, letting his fingernails gently press them back into place and rake over any debris they may have accumulated.

he pulls his lips away just a bit, humming a song that is both painfully familiar and he cannot quite place. he isn't sure if this will count for the square.

he isn't sure, and he decides he doesn't care if it doesn't. ]

Could do a few things. Necklages are always a good base. Charms. Hair ornaments.

[His voice is a little hazy because its nice, its nice, its nice its nice its nice its nice]

[He isn't used to it.]

[He doesn't want it to stop.]

[Every light kiss and scratch drawing a shiver from him and makes his eyes feel hazy and he's not sure what all these feelings mean.]

[He hears the song and it takes a moment to remember that is a square and he joins in on the humming. Hesitant and soft, almost like he's unsure he should be trying.]

[But he wants to try anyway.]

[ keeping his voice soft to maintain the notes of the song, he combs gently through the feathers with his fingers, straightening out a few more before he reaches over for the other wing, proceeding to preen through this one in a similar fashion. he has to remain in a position that reaches over Rufous to effectively groom like this, but as long as the other seems to be relaxed, he appears comfortable doing so.

he tapers off the song long enough to speak again, passing some of the feathers oer for Rufous to hold. ]

Sure, those sound nice. I'd have a charm or hair ornament made from these. You're doing really well, you know.

[ it isn't perfectly seamless - Okitsu is no musician, no refined artist - but he hums a few more singsong notes to get back into the swing of his song, pressing a soft kiss to the side of Rufous's head. not quite the forehead, not yet, too forward: merely exploratory. is that okay? would that be okay? ]

[He is definitely relaxing, the tension melting from his shoulders, wings not so perked up. Its hard to keep up the tension with all the soft, gentle touches, the soft sound.]

[He takes the feathers. And then outright shivers as he's praised, head ducking as the warm feeling that makes.]

Just...getting groomed...I should help you with some of your squares. [A soft murmur.]

[He can at least carry a tune. It takes a bit to follow the tune, but once he has it, he can keep it. Only hitching at the kiss, but he doesn't pull away, his hands fiddling with the feathers, seeing if he can make small holes to loop the stems together.]

Right, but you're being patient enough to cuddle for ten minutes. Ten minutes is...

[ idly, he rubs the side of his head. ] I-it can be feel like a long time, if you're not prepared. You're holding up, though.

[ he's close enough that when he laughs, his breath dusts over the pale hair of his cuddle companion. ]

Don't worry so much about my squares. [ with no negative reaction garnered from the quick, passing kisses, Okitsu dips his head a little lower, pressing a quick kiss to Rufous's forehead. ]

A lot of mine want me to do some pretty cruel things, when I know I'm better suited for things like this.

.....it is a lot. [Softly murmured. Its gentle and careful and so are tge 'kisses' and they make his chest ache because he wants them. He wants more of this gentle affection.]

[He sighs, closing his eyes.] I'm used to cruel things. [A hand drifts up to the scar on his cheek. It had been so close. He can't help but wonder if there was a time he was too slow.] The squares I have don't seem so bad.

Yeah... I can tell.

[ 'I can tell, because you're right here.' the actions he takes, the way his grip tightens just a little as if for a moment, he might be afraid that his message might not get through—it's familiar, all of it. letting the feathers drop from his hands, he resolves to let go of the side hug in favor of plainly embracing Rufous, trying to encourage him to settle his cheek against Okitsu's shoulder. ]

So I don't want to give people more cruel memories just to win some game. People don't always take the time to learn each others' stories, what makes them afraid, or what makes them hurt. [ his next laugh is bittersweet, heavy on his chest. ] I'd rather take a loss and be able to live with myself.

[He's pulled back, going tense as he looks at Okitsu with surprise, and tgere is no panic, no surprise on his face.]

[Just a careful, constructed neutrality.]

[But he listens and its that, not the sudden movement, that makes his eyes widen.]

[Then he looks away.] ....people don't. They don't take the time to learn. To understand.

Just demand you do without any help...

A lot of them don't.

[ he lets his hands drop, unwilling to force contact if it isn't wanted, but leaving his hand upturned in an offering if it might be desired. ]

I can't make excuses for the ways people hurt each other... But I can say that even the most cruel actions sometimes start from someone being afraid or crying out in pain.

[ 'I was never anywhere. It was only my brother and my father. I was the one who died.'

Naoi's words echo in the back of his mind, intermingled with the diluted smell of blood. ]

That's why you're doing great. It's... hard to trust other people when you're scared. So, thank you. For trusting me to groom your feathers, and for trying out a song with me.

[There is a part of Rufous that wants nothing else then to be seen. Acknowledged. Validated. He wanted to know his existence was worth something. An inherent need to justify it.]

[That part fueled everything else. The need to be perfect, the need to not be weak, the need to defend himself at all costs because he can't trust others to. Safety did not exist.]

[Safety did not exist.]

[And it was so tiring.]

I revived you. [It's said softly. Because he had proven his worth, he could allow himself to believe he warranted a little kindness.]

[His cheek rests against his shoulder.] I hate being cruel. But this place is too strange. Sometimes people are too kind to believe. And others will talk of kindness, but then act with cruelty. I don't know....

I don't know any of it. How to follow and understand and when I'm wrong it's more cruelty when I just...I just want to do it right.

Monster Bingo 3.0

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gosh I don't want to nab all his squares but tbh Kitsu can keep going so lmk! ~this is his element~

I mean, I can always make more cards-

I just didn't want to be too greedy with all of them! ❤︎

Be as greedy as you want :3

Re: Be as greedy as you want :3

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